You are a golden boy.
Gold twinkles in your hair.
And yet,
your eyes flow only shades of blue.
Each darker
and heavier
than the last.
Your heart no longer radiates love.
But instead,
a dim light of apathy.
A gold that was once warm
and bright
is now crushed beneath your feet.
The blue runs out of your eyes
with such force
that I fear
you will waste away.
I cover you with golden kisses
but, it is still not enough.
I cannot save you
from the emptiness that is filling you.
So, I sit back and pray.
Thinking about my golden boy
that I had loved so dearly
for so long.
And watch
as a light stream of blue
trickles out of my eyes.
I was inspired to emulate this piece from a poem that Claire B. did that can be found here. This is based on the idea of a boy who suffers from a mental illness and how it affects others. I really wanted to play with the idea that Claire explored with gold and blue and took it my own way with blue symbolizing depression. Gold is sometimes used to symbolize love and what an object is worth so I lightly added in the idea that the golden boy is worth more than he knows and he is loved. This poem represents his suffering and even though some view him as perfect, he drowns in his own self-hate and how he portrays himself.
I love the idea of the push and pull between blue and gold and the conflict that they have. I may write more posts like this in the future with this style.
I have nothing else to say now but I haven’t reached the word count limit so I will just continue to write I guess. I am not the best at poetry and I never found myself writing with it as a child but that’s all going to change now. My inner edge lord is coming out and I can’t wait to let them shine through my poetry. This is one of the more serious ones I have written so far so let’s see what the future holds.
Dearest Paxton,
What an amazing human being you are. I was also drawn to Claire’s use of colours, and you did it just as beautifully! I absolutely loved how you described blue especially when you said, “And yet, your eyes flow only shades of blue. Each darker and heavier then the last.” (Small error with using then as it should be than) because it provided this beautiful imagery that I could not get enough of.
My suggestions come in the form of doing a look over your poem. The mistake I found was only when I wanted to mention it as one of my favourite lines – so overall it does not detract from the meaning. Also I know you are a gifted writer so I would have loved if you did a really short story as the prose for this. I think you could do something really amazing!
Great work! Will definitely read more of you work!
Much love,
Nimrat
Paxton,
I love the deep meaning behind this piece and the complete difference between warm gold and cold blue tearing this boy apart. The ending is heartbreaking that what happened to the boy begins happening to you and I overall just really enjoyed reading it.
For an improvement if I had to make one, I would some more space in between certain stanzas to make it a little easier to read.
Can’t wait to read more from you.
-Emily
Hey Paxton,
First time on here and you have amazed me with your writing!!!! I was just reading through a couple of your other posts and every single one of them has such depth and meaning that surfaces as you continue reading. I really wish I can write like you!!!
As for this piece, let be beginning by saying the featured image is perfecto! You should let me know where you got it from (I’m struggling to find good pictures for mine:). Your poem was very beautiful. It encapsulating so many different emotions and arose a breathtaking moment for the reader. Personally, I felt like I was reading a very important secret, a secret that loses it’s importance if I interrupt. Sorry, that probably makes no sense – I have no other way of explaining how I felt when I was reading this! After reading this, I certainly could not believe that your new to writing poems because this sounds perfect! My favourite line “And watch as a light stream of blue trickles out of my eyes,” is so powerful. I love how you began my talking about the golden boy and his blue eyes and than at the end you closed the circle by using the color blue as a connecter between the boy and the ‘narrator’.
As for improvements… I’m thinking… and I really don’t have anything to offer. But I have to so here it is:
My suggested area of improvement comes from my favourite line. You began the sentence with ‘And watch’, which I was slightly confused about. Ever line and stanza in your poem is in perfect harmony; however, the beginning of the last line seemed cut and sharp. This may have been intentionally, so in that cause ignore me, but I was wondering if you meant “And watched”. Just a very very minor suggestion. I guess the summary of that is to just read over your writing.
That’s it that’s all!!
Once again, I just wanted to say how great of a writing you are and please do continue writing poems because it is truly your talent!! I will definitely be coming back on here to read and be inspired by your writing!!
Sincerely,
Hefseeba